Lent is the time of year when we are supposed to prepare ourselves for Holy Week, which of course includes the celebration of Easter. We are supposed to prepare our souls through prayer, alms giving, penitence, fasting, and self-denial. It's a very religious time for most Christians...
...so, guess what we do the day before all of that starts? That's right, Fat Tuesday! A day of pure decadence. We're supposed to eat food high in fat, drink heavily, flash our boobs, make out with and/or fight with random strangers in the street. It's kind of like the last chance to get some sins in before we have to behave ourselves (at least for the next 40 days or so). For those of you that don't practice Lent, you don't know how long 40 days is when you're behavior is restricted. I don't know about the rest of you but I usually flash my boobs at least once a week!
Anyway, a friend of mine has decided to help me with a Public Service Announcement to help you from over-indulging this Fat Tuesday:
Thanks Tuesday! I owe you one.
Once you've made it through Fat Tuesday with some measure of decorum (You can thank me later), it is then time for Ash Wednesday. On Ash Wednesday, as a sign of our repentance, we go to church and receive ashes on our foreheads in the sign of the cross and we leave the ashes on all day, without washing them off. Since I attended a Catholic school through most of my childhood, this didn't really affect me a whole lot. Everyone had dirty smudgy foreheads and everyone knew why.
That is not the case when you're out and about in the real world. I discovered that although many people love to celebrate Fat Tuesday; Ash Wednesday is not quite as well known, nor is it as well received. Because of this, I found it a lot easier to go to evening mass on Ash Wednesday so I didn't have to explain my dirty forehead to every person I encountered that day.
Now that I'm not as easily influenced by the opinion of others, I prefer to use Ash Wednesday as a "dirty day". What's a "dirty day", you ask? It's a day when I purposefully allow my face to get as dirty and smudgy as possible, without washing, rinsing or wiping away any of the residue. That way, when I'm asked what's on my face, I have a whole array of items to choose from depending upon my mood at the time. The effect looks similar to this:
The end result on my face wouldn't be quite as cute as it is on his face and I try to be considerate of my readers.
So, as Fat Tuesday burns out and Ash Wednesday rises, Lent has begun. It will be a time to give up my wanton ways (at least temporarily) and it is also a time to fast. Since I am a connoisseur of junk food, this is the hard part for me. I am more likely to shove a burger in my mouth and then, with my mouth still full, say, "Oh wait, is this Friday?" (Tip: During Lent, we don't eat meat on Fridays. Fish, but not meat. Why do you think McDonald's came up with the Fillet O Fish?)
So for me, the dilemma is, To Fast or Not To Fast. Either way, Lent comes upon me way Too Fast and so I will try my best and hope to get through it this year with flying colors...hopefully, it goes by quickly: