Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I plan to follow Charlie because I plan to win

Do you remember this face?

This was the face of many of my young fantasies.  This clean cut boy with the devil's glint in his eye.  But now...

EEEEEEEWWWWWW!  He looks like he's turning into an old lady.  A spooky creepy one.  When I heard CBS had canceled his show, I wasn't really shocked.  The bad, often criminal behavior was one thing, it fit in with his character but...when his face started to deteriorate, well, no one wants to see a wealthy partying playboy who looks like crap.  That's no fun at all.  We don't want to see the consequences of extreme alcohol and drug abuse. 

But then things changed for me.

Charlie was all over the morning show circuit.  He announced that he only needed us to trust him and if we did, we would win because he's a winner.  Ah!  Why hadn't I realized that?  It could have saved me so much time and so much trouble all these years.

But alas, my new leader helped me with this as well...his brain is "not from this terrestrial realm".  He explained that he "probably took more drugs than anyone could survive" but he DID survive do the math.  I mean, how can you not acknowledge the "bitchin' rock star life" that is Charlie.  Who else do you know of that can "make Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards all of 'em just look like droopy-eyed armless children"?  That is quite an accomplishment.  He has chosen to embrace his life, "Wrap both arms around it and love it violently.  And defend it violently, through violent hatred."


What a guy.  Um, I mean warlock. (is the "w" suppose to be capitalized?)  What with all that Tiger's Blood running through his veins, (I wonder if that's anything like Tiger's Milk.  I love those energy bars.) it's no wonder he's the only one able to do the drug that is 'Charlie Sheen', not even making it available to the public:  "cuz if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off (huh, refer back to the second picture on this post... just sayin') and children will weep over your exploded body."

He's certainly reached out to the masses, per his own words, "I exposed people to magic.  I exposed them to something that they otherwise would not see in their boring normal lives.  And I gave that to them!"

So, I'm sure you can see why I have chosen the Guru Sheen to lead me through life but in case you need any more convincing, in Guru Sheen's own words..."Uh, Winner!" ...'nuff said.


  1. After his morning talk show rounds, I'm convinced now more than ever that his brain is totally fried.

  2. @ Vinny...lest you forget, his brain is not from this terrestrial realm. My theory is that his brain was pulled from one of those giant jars of pickled eggs you see in strange little bars and rural convenience stores.

  3. I have to admit... I've been watching only to see if he's wearing a tin foil hat and communicating somehow with another planet through our television broadcasts.

    He's toast. Seriously.

  4. Not too familiar with his off show acts...I like him in the Two and Half men show though....also, I've handed over the Stylish Blogger Award to'd be great if you accepted it...

  5. OMG I know right! I wish he would just go away now. He broke my heart with his behaviour resulting in the cancellation of a show I LOVED. And now we're forced to listen to his lunatic ranting. I can't take it. Just go away Charlie Sheen...sigh...remember him from Young Guns?

  6. I have a vision of Charlie stumbling on some seedy corner of Los Angeles, in a tattered Burberry overcoat, no teeth yelling "Don't you know who I am?"

  7. he used to be so hot hot hot but I must admit I did prefer Emilio. I am gutted that his show has been cancelled cos I loved it but he really needs to just bog off now doesn't he?

  8. wow yeah, he couldn't have just faded out with even a bit of dignity could he? He needs better PR personnel or something, he shouldn't have been allowed to go on TV and spurt that garbage out.

  9. @ Julianna...I'm pretty sure that's on his to do list.

    @ cat...I liked the show too but not with his new ghoulish face...I will stop by your site shortly, thansk for the award.

    @ Sandra...I definitely remember him from Young Guns. I cried when he dies in that movie, now I cry whenever he pops up during an interview, for completely different reasons.

    @ Nubian...hahaha, sadly, I would prefer that. I expect him to turn to making Adult movies when he can no longer find a regular acting gig and to that I just say...eeeeeewwwww!

    @ lindy...hey, maybe they can just replace Charlie with Emilio and keep the show going?

    @ fading out for Charlie, he's special. He's apparently so special, his PR guy fled the scene of the crime.

  10. It's such a shame when people lose the plot the way he seems to have. Makes me realise I am actually quite normal - and my normality comes without the aid of drugs and minimal alcohol input!

  11. @ Bub...I do feel a little more sane when I hear him speaking. Maybe that's the draw the media has with him. How aptly put "losing the plot" it.